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Sunday, April 11, 2010

Russ Ortiz, An Ode

Russ Ortiz has appeared in 3 games, and has had success in two.

To say I'm surprised by this would be an understatement, considering that Russ Ortiz is, in fact, Russ Ortiz. He's an awful pitcher, one that should make Dodgers fans cringe every time he gets handed the ball. He'll be 36 in June, and is clearly not going to get any better in terms of stuff or ability. As old school baseball people would say, he will truly need to excel by sheer grit and determination and guile, which, again, should scare the living daylights out of every one of us.

Ortiz has a career FIP of 4.67 and 1.49 career WHIP. He's posted exactly two seasons, 2001 and 2002, with a FIP under 4, checking in at 3.52 and 3.97, respectively. He doesn't strike enough guys out, and he walks far too many. That, of course, is a horrid combination for any pitcher, let alone a soon-to-be 36-year-old who was never particularly any good to begin with.

Whatever dark magic Ortiz has found to guide him through a mostly successful first week as a Dodger needs to be harnessed and unleashed every time he sets foot on the diamond in a Dodgers uniform. Whatever wizard Ortiz has captured and has carefully hidden in his jersey, so that he may bring him luck in the course of a game, must be kept happy and content in knowing that he's not just helping Russ Ortiz, but all Dodgers fans.

I don't like Russ Ortiz the player, and I hope to never have to see him again in a Dodgers uniform, pitching for my favorite team in what will surely be important situations. Russ Ortiz is not only a bad pitcher, but he's a bad pitcher taking away a roster spot and innings from a younger, more talented pitcher who, while having a clearly much-higher upside, would also have the same floor in all likelihood.

Russ Ortiz, you suck. I really can't put that any more gingerly. However, being that you have the one quality Joe Torre loves, veterany goodness, you'll undoubtedly stick around much longer than you should, and much longer than most Dodger fans want you to. The fact that you've made 3 appearances is, quite frankly, 3 too many.

All that being said, I root for you, because you do wear Dodger Blue, and are pitching for us in important situations, and will continue to do so. I hope to wake up one bright morning and see that you are no longer a part of this team, this organization, but until that shining day arrives, we're all behind you, if for no other reason than because we have no other choice. Just limit the real Russ Ortiz to blowouts.

To continued success Russ Ortiz. To continued success.

3 comments:

  1. Unbelievable.

    Why in the world are you so down on Russ Ortiz? And not down on, say, Jeff Weaver, Ramon Ortiz, or Lefty George?

    A GREAT spring, two GREAT apprearances, and one bad inning. By the way, JB was the one who gave up the big hit in that inning, too.

    And now Russ is being blamed for Broxton not "being able" to pitch the next day? Is he a closer or not? So you whip Russ today, instead of whipping Sherrill, who lost the game for the Dodgers, and has sucked all spring.

    It doesn't surprise me that buttheads like you rant like this. Russ has been hurt for a few years. He's a former all-star, a way better W/L record lifetime than the rest of the staff, and is 3-1 in the post season. He's a great career pitcher, and he's healthy again for the first time in years.

    Glad Torre and Coletti are in charge, and not hacks like you. Then again, I guess anyone can sign up for a blog.

    "He's an awful pitcher." Yah, that's a qualified statement. Oh, I know, I'll pull all the stats that look bad, that's it.

    "I don't like Russ Ortiz the player." That's fine. Be prejudiced, that's okay. But you're a moron.

    "All that being said, I root for you, because you do wear Dodger Blue" -- oh, how altruistic of you!

    It's going to be fun to see you squirm when he succeeds as a starter when your precious infantile knuckleballer gets rocked in a the next weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unbelievable.

    Why in the world are you so down on Russ Ortiz? And not down on, say, Jeff Weaver, Ramon Ortiz, or Lefty George?

    A GREAT spring, two GREAT apprearances, and one bad inning. By the way, JB was the one who gave up the big hit in that inning, too.

    And now Russ is being blamed for Broxton not "being able" to pitch the next day? Is he a closer or not? So you whip Russ today, instead of whipping Sherrill, who lost the game for the Dodgers, and has sucked all spring.

    It doesn't surprise me that buttheads like you rant like this. Russ has been hurt for a few years. He's a former all-star, a way better W/L record lifetime than the rest of the staff, and is 3-1 in the post season. He's a great career pitcher, and he's healthy again for the first time in years.

    Glad Torre and Coletti are in charge, and not hacks like you. Then again, I guess anyone can sign up for a blog.

    "He's an awful pitcher." Yah, that's a qualified statement. Oh, I know, I'll pull all the stats that look bad, that's it.

    "I don't like Russ Ortiz the player." That's fine. Be prejudiced, that's okay. But you're a moron.

    "All that being said, I root for you, because you do wear Dodger Blue" -- oh, how altruistic of you!

    It's going to be fun to see you squirm when he succeeds as a starter when your precious infantile knuckleballer gets rocked in a the next weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Who loaded the bases for Broxton? And the hit Broxton gave up just fell in, mind you. In a game he really never should have been in.

    And I didn't blame Ortiz for Broxton not being available, it's Torre's fault for not using him properly in Game 2. Russ does not choose who pitches, obviously.

    A great spring means nothing, because, you know, it's Spring Training.

    Oh, and wins/losses are the ABSOLUTE WORST WAY TO JUDGE A PITCHER. Not surprising that an uneducated fan like yourself would use that measure.

    All-Star appearances mean nothing, they're voted on by fans like you. Stats are how you judge players, because they're objective.

    Oh, and all his stats look bad, because they are bad, and he's a bad pitcher.

    If Russ Ortiz is starting, we are truly fucked.

    ReplyDelete