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Friday, August 28, 2009

Steve Lyons Caught With His Pants Down

And his head up his ass. And this isn't even the first time it's happened.

On tonight's broadcast, Lyons once again made the claim that HRs are "rally killers", and that he would prefer a hitter hit a double instead of a HR, unless the HR ties the game or puts your team ahead. Now yes, it would be great if every HR pulled your team even or put them ahead, but hitters don't have a ton of say in what the score of the game is. They could play stellar defense and be potent offensively, yet still find their team down by a wide margin. And guess what helps your team pull closer to the other team: HRs!

Using tonight's game as an example, the score was 4-0 and the Dodgers had 2 men on. Lyons made the point of saying how a double would be more beneficial, and listed off a bunch of reasons why. Clearly math was never his strong suit, as a double, assuming both runs score, only makes it a 4-2 game. There is no guarantee the man now on 2nd comes in to score, and we easily could be looking at a 4-2 game when the inning ends, especially with the Dodger's recent offensive struggles. What would be even better than a 4-2 score, you ask? How about a 4-3 game, which occurs if the batter hits a HR instead of a double. That HR guarantees you of being closer to the other team when the inning ends. Plus, why would you be against guaranteed runs, when the outcome of the game is determined by who scores the most runs?

Why? I'll tell you why, because that's baseball to the old-school, gritty, against statistics, pants-dropping, racially-insensitive* Steve Lyons: playing the game illogically because you can't comprehend the correct way to play.

But, if we're being honest, guys like Babe Ruth (good thing he pitched regularly/semi-regularly for 6 years, saved him from absolutely demolishing about 100 rallies) and Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds were really assholes, pure, selfish assholes, with all those rallies they killed. Jerks.

Steve Lyons, the epitome of not killing rallies! 19 career HRs, but 100 doubles. That's how you keep rallies alive and get that oh so beautiful career OPS+ of 77. 77! What an offensive dynamo. And I'll go out on a limb and surmise he also believes walks clog the bases.

* I actually thought his Sal Fasano comment was very funny.*

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