Monday, February 18, 2013

The Dodgers' Steve Lyons Is The Worst Announcer In Baseball.

Particularly now that Joe Morgan is out of the announcing game. And hey, at least Morgan was an all-time great, and either the best or second-best second baseman ever. Lyons was, shall we say, less than terribly atrocious.

Here's what Lyons is most well-known for: not his announcing, not his baseball insights, not his witty commentary, but this display of hilarious ineptitude. Thanks to Chad for the .gif:

It's not just that Lyons was an atrocious player: a .301 OBP, .286 wOBA, and 3.1 career WAR will take care of anyone's potential legacy. It's that he doesn't even realize what makes a good baseball player today. Clearly, he's not the venerable Vin Scully, but he's so bad he's dragged down whatever potential Eric Collins once possessed.

He has a complete misunderstanding of on-base percentage and its value and places far too much importance on RBIs while failing to see that statistic's irrelevancy and the connection between that and OBP. He also clearly has failed to master the art of fact-checking, or getting someone more knowledgeable than he to carry out that simple task for him.

When I first penned my ode to Lyons' stupidity back on August 28th of 2009, here is some of what I wrote about Lyons and his belief that HRs are "rally killers":

Why? I'll tell you why, because that's baseball to the old-school, gritty, against statistics, pants-dropping, racially-insensitive* Steve Lyons: playing the game illogically because you can't comprehend the correct way to play.
But, if we're being honest, guys like Babe Ruth (good thing he pitched regularly/semi-regularly for 6 years, saved him from absolutely demolishing about 100 rallies) and Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds were really assholes, pure, selfish assholes, with all those rallies they killed. Jerks.
Steve Lyons, the epitome of not killing rallies! 19 career HRs, but 100 doubles. That's how you keep rallies alive and get that oh so beautiful career OPS+ of 77. 77! What an offensive dynamo. And I'll go out on a limb and surmise he also believes walks clog the bases.

The man is so out of touch that he even suggested a player of the stature of Albert Pujols - you know, one of the ten greatest players to ever step on the diamond - needed to be signed because the previous face of the franchise was close to croaking at the time of his comments. As opposed to, you know, him being a phenomenal player and one of the ten greatest ever.

Lyons makes me want to watch the game with the mute button on and broken off of my remote so I can't even possibly turn the sound back on. He makes a sea of vuvuzelas sound like serene ocean noises, a symphony of great classical music, or a beautiful serenade. When Lyons opens his mouth, I think gun, brain, bliss.


  1. Lyons was a mistake from the instant he was hired. Forget about his inability to analyze the game in any coherent manner, he was known as a joker as a player -- how is that going to translate to being an "expert" in the broadcast booth?

    These are my least favorite broadcasting hires -- hiring former players just because they talk a lot -- listen to what they're talking about before you hire!

    Oh, and the pants dropping thing? Happened on my birthday.

    So, yeah, I'm bitter.

    Number verification: 411.

    Don't go to Lyons.

  2. As I see it, if they're an expert - they're on the coaching staff, not in the broadcast booth.

    An exceptions: obviously Vin Scully, Paul O'Neill, Jim Kaat.

    Alan Ashby was amazing to listen to. Now he's coaching with the Astros, to be replaced by one of the more overrated pitchers of all time, Jack Morris.

    Watch MLBNetwork for the absolute in ex-player analytic ineptitude. Harold Reynolds. Mitch Williams. JERRY MANUEL.

  3. I know I might raise the ire of my fellow Dodger bloggers, but I gotta say I enjoy listening to Lyons on the Dodger radio broadcasts.

    Staying away from his beliefs about home runs or how much importance he places on what type of stats, he often gives pretty good insight(IMO)on what's going through players minds in the midst of rallies. Sure, he thinks old school, but I like that sometimes.

    Then again, I may appreciate him too much because I'm stuck with comparing him to "Sleep-inducing hynotic drone voice" Rick Monday. Talk about a mumbly ex-player with no business behind a mike.

    Monday is the only guy who could ever make me wish for the hey day of Dull Drysdale as announcer. You aint heard boring till you heard good ol' Dull.

  4. I still think the pants-dropping was premeditated. I mean, that's the only way he was going to get notoriety, it wasn't for his hitting.

  5. Not to mention he was the first round pick in 1981 of my beloved Red Sox, who after trading him to the White Sox in 1986 signed him as a free agent 3 different times!

  6. I cannot listen to the game when he is announcing. He's awful. Do the Dodgers really like him? I have to mute the t.v. I just yell out " shut up!" Gah, he just talks and talks about the most ridiculous sh*t. And don't get me started with the nick-names. Matty Kemp. Ugh.

  7. AWESOME POST!!! Can't believe how bad Eric Collins and Steve Lyons sound together. Over-analyzing stupid stuff, Lyons comes off pompous and Collins eggs it on... Even Eric Karros was kind of a douche. It all comes down to Vin Scully's golden voice, rich stories and unbiased perspective. He picked up the mic from the legendary great Red Barber. To think who'll the torch gets passed to some day bums me out... oh ya, Charley Steiner- not half bad.

  8. Still better than Charlie Steiner.