I was contacted via Twitter by Ryan Cracknell, who runs Trader Crack's and edits The Cardboard Connection. He said he had foil parallels from Parks and Recreation he wanted to send me, and he more than delivered with awesome set help.
Ryan sent 22 foil parallel needs (almost an entire box's worth!) and I can't thank him enough for his generosity. I hope to one day repay it in kind with cardboard.